Robert E. WaiteWEEKLY WAITE-O-GRAM (Rel. 49.0)
DELUSIONAL DESPOTS
I have been trying to picture what it must have been like when Hosni Mubarak's television lights were switched off last Thursday evening...right after his infamous "I'm still staying" speech. Did an aide say, "Good job, Mr. President"? Did Mubarak himself say "Gee, I think that went well...don't you"? Was there applause? Stunned silence? Much as Richard Nixon had his Henry Kissinger... did Mubarak have someone right there beside him, to comfort him... even pray with him? A person who perhaps will someday pen an insider's account of how, every step of the way, the Egyptian President could manage to be exactly 48 hours behind the curve? It seems 30 years in power had left him as isolated as the mummies...found buried in the Valley of the Kings.
MEANWHILE, ELSEWHERE IN THE PALACE...
Mubarak family gatherings will apparently be somewhat awkward for the foreseeable future...as reports have surfaced that two of Honsi's sons, Alaa and Gamal, nearly came to blows even as their father was speaking to the nation. The oldest, Alaa, apparently blamed the youngest for "ruining everything". The youngest accused the oldest of "cheating at Monopoly" and "hogging all the first-name vowels". In other words, very reminiscent of an average North American Thanksgiving.
SHIRLEY YOU JEST
I once worked with a guy who, when frustrated or not getting an answer he liked, would cry out, "Am I surrounded by fools??!!" Being one of those surrounding him, I would offer that it was certainly a possibility...but at least we were HIS fools. Being an advisor, whether to a King, President or CEO, is always a tricky balancing act. You want to be loyal...after all, you serve at the leader's pleasure...but you also want to be useful. Telling a King, Queen (or CEO) only what he or she wishes to hear is of course ultimately a disservice...but the problem is you can lose your job...or head...before your unvarnished opinion becomes truly appreciated. In Medieval Europe the figure of the court jester or court minstrel fulfilled some of this need for candor...but in today's world, job postings for jester and minstrel are few and far between.
'AND THEN SIR ROBIN RAN AWAY...'
My favorite minstrel appeared in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". He accompanied Sir Robin (who, you might recall, was so destitute that he could not afford a horse... and resorted to using two coconuts to simulate hoof beats). The minstrel "sang of his failures" (to which Sir Robin would invariably respond, "That's NOT true!") All leaders need someone to sing of their failures once in awhile...or at least have a jester on call... to create an occasional pinprick in the hierarchical bubble. (Most of us call this individual a "spouse".)
YEAR OF SPEAKING DANGEROUSLY
It is perhaps ironic that at a time when Hosni Mubarak was delivering some of the worst speeches since Dwight Schrute addressed the Northeast Pennsylvania Sales Association...we are treated to a movie, "The King's Speech", which focuses on the power of the spoken word. In the case of King George VI (known as Bertie, 'til his brother buggered off), it wasn't so much that the words were wrong -- the Windsors have never lacked for competent speech writers-- but that he couldn't actually say them. What saved the day was the willingness of his spouse...Elizabeth, remembered today as the Queen Mother... to reach outside the royal household for assistance. And not just outside the royal household...but to an Australian! "The King's Speech" is a very good film on many levels, but most especially on the subject of moving outside one's comfort zone.
WATSON, COME HERE, I WANT YOU
Speaking of spouses and such, while most normal couples will be out at fancy restaurants for Valentine's Day...we will be camped in front of a television set...watching my significant other's true heart throb...Watson. Yes, beginning on Monday night, for three days running, IBM's Watson supercomputer will be dueling it out on the game show "Jeopardy" with two humanoid champions. My semi-romantic contribution will be to prepare dinner...and select an appropriate wine. I was thinking California ...perhaps a full-bodied red...from Silicon Valley. I will be rooting for the humans, by the way. My spouse, on the other hand, rooted for the Cylons in "Battlestar Galactica"; the invaders in "War of the Worlds"... and all those guys in black suits in "The Matrix". And lately she has been leaking a strange hydraulic fluid...and making a high-pitched whirring noise,
WATCH THIS SPACE...
Next week, a discussion of whether or not C-Suite executives can (or, more correctly, should) be friends with their subordinates...and a case study in termination.
(This communication reflects the views of the author, who is solely responsible for any errors, omissions or stutters. The Waite-O-Gram was been published continuously since 1992, originally as an alternative communications channel at IBM Canada to thwart the completely fictitious IBM Thought Police. It's continued existence is a mystery. As is its numbering protocol.)
Reader Comments (5)
Always entertaining and "on point". Thanx
This is good, coming from the descendant of a regicide! :) You have the creds to write that column. I love that story, Bob, and thanks for continuing to share your thoughts...
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